I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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