he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
