on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
