i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
