I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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