i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
