where am i from again
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
