sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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