No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
