If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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