Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
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Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
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I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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