she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
