we have officially lost it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
