but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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