it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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