This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
