I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
