You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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