Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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