Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
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We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
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My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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