Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
