You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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