Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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