how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
