i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
