I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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