I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
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Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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