So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
