someone get that fucking seahorse.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
A+ Viking dick
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
