so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you would pick up someone in the library
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
