are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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