I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
