please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
