Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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