hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
