I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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