Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
