That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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