You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
