I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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