I just made out with a guy for $7.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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