I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
