Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Your dad touched me again.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
