i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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