what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
