Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
