it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
