That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
