No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
