Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
