All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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