Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm both gender and math confused
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
