O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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