my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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