Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Found the puke drawer
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
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He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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