I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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