Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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