why didn't you poke me back
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
